Saeros of Doriath, The Proud Counsellor of Thingol

I was once considered among the proud Sindar of Doriath, A counsellor in the court of Thingol. Thingol was the king of Doriath, a hidden elven kingdom beneath the shimmering light of Menegroths thousand lamps. My name is Saeros, though I fear it will forever be spoken not with honour, but with contempt.

In my youth, I was a voice of wisdom, or so I believed. I took pride in my closeness to Thingol, the mightiest of the Sindarin kings, and I cherished the peace of Doriath which was guarded by Melians enchantments. I harboured hate in my heart for Beren and his descendants as they called in harm towards our dear Doriath.

When Turin, the son of Hurin, came to Thingols court, I saw him first as a curiosity questioning how a mortal can mingle freely among the immortal. He showed pride as if he were kin to the Eldar. He took advantage of the mercy of King Thingol and made himself renowned in court. He was favoured by Thingol, respected by Beleg and loved by many. His bravery, his dark and noble bearing the sorrow that shadowed his eyes drew others towards him. But I found him a mirror to all that I lacked. 

I mocked him first out of jest, or so I told myself. His rough ways, his silence, his grief made him strange to me. I could not contain my jealousy anymore. As days went by envy and hatred festered in my heart, waiting to be thrown at him. Every smile the king gave him was like a spear pierced through my heart. It was a painful reminder to me that I, who had served the king faithfully for years, was being overshadowed by a mere mortal. 

That day in the hall, I let the bitterness in my heart speak aloud. I shamed him before all, mocking his mother, mocking his kind and his birth. I knew I was being cruel but I had to wound him, make him feel as small as I felt. He struck me back in fury and my pride could not bear that. The laughter of others burned like fire in my ears.

Blinded by rage and and humiliation, I sought revenge. I ambushed him at dawn as he walked alone. Oh what a fool i was. I thought myself powerful but Turin was mightier. And fate had already set its dark hands on both of us. He stripped me and drove me forth naked through the woods. I ran while stumbling through thorns and stones, as I was driven by terror and my mind was unravelling.

And so I met my end. Not by Turins sword but by my own folly. While fleeing my humiliation, I leapt across the stream and fell upon rocks. Thus ended Saeros, counsellor of Doriath. I met my doom, not by an enemy but due to my envy and pride.

If any still speak my name, let them speak in warning
, that pride and jealousy can corrupt even the wise, and kindness withheld may return as tragedy.

Justice, oaths and silmaril: What the verdict taught me

 It was finally over. We have given our verdict and justice has prevailed. But why was i still feeling guilty? I have provided someone with consequences to their actions which if you see in a black and white manner, they very well deserve. Its easy to say something about someone when everything is presented to you with that bias. But it takes a lifetime to actually know someone and understand the reason behind their actions. However none of that can ever excuse acts that endanger or take anothers life. After i gave my verdict a certain dread took over me as this was no ordinary trial. It was the reckoning of a house that had so much potential, yet decided to burn half the world in its pride. It chose pride and greed instead of humility and sacrifice, and brought in its own doom.

Throughout the trial i had a feeling the prosecution had a stronger grasp on their case than the defense. They presented grave accusation against the defense such as Kinslaying, theft, Armed robbery and also added spiritual sins such as pride, greed and denial of heinous acts. They provided sufficient evidence and witnesses which werent refuted by the defense. 

But still Feanor's sons stood tall, perhaps too tall, with pride barely veiled by grief. They did not deny their actions but instead spoke of ownership, loyalty and destiny. They tried to explain their helplessness as they took their oath before Eru and the valar. They argued that their actions were not done with evil intention but simply to abide by their oath. But the prosecution opposed it saying that their oath was not forever binding. Defense was unable to prove the validness of the oath. They were also unable to give a proper reasoning behind Feanors defiance to give Yavannah the silmarils, which painted a picture of Feanor as selfish and greedy in front of the jury.

We deliberated long into the night and finally came to a decision. There was no joy in the decision nor was there a sense of victory. Only the heavy recognition that justice must be served even if its a tragedy. But what will prison do to spirits already broken by their own fire. As we left the hall of judgement I thougth of Feanors words "No hand shall touch them, for they are my heart". Perhaps that was the truest crime, not rebellion, not bloodshed, but the belief that light could be owned or that it could be kept captive. That one act became catalyst for multiple other heinous acts. History will remember how a house of creators, dreamers and crafters were destroyed due to pride. In every religion pride is defined as one of the big sins. Because even though pride itself is not harmful the actions it leads one to take is more than often destructive for themselves and the ones around them.